the way Logan said it made me feel like every human being has the chance of living their lives to the fullest :) It’s not just about charlie, the kid who had problems finding out his true self, it’s about how everything affects your whole being to bring out what’s in you.
I just can’t even.
filipina by blood and heart ;))
It really creeps me out sometimes, that there’s this yearning of comfort that girls can only do and demand. It’s really a mystery to me (like that of sea monsters kind of mystery lol) how these hormones in my body function…weirdly. yes, weird but whatever let’s not talk about hormones, can we?
firstly, I can hover the walls of our four cornered bathroom for two hours. yes this is now a fact. a fact that makes me despise myself, sometimes. it bugs me and i really don’t have any idea why i take this too long to bathe. Back then, i used to enjoy the splash of water for fifteen minutes, with that, i was able to shampoo and massage my hair already, dampen my body with baby soap (tehee), play with bubbles and form creatures with my damaged hair. Seriously, what happened? Now, I’ve grown the override of relentlessness of being such a girl. im over reacting by the way haha
secondly, whenever i’m going somewhere, 5-7 outfits need to be prepared, why? because i’m really conscious with what i wear, like, does this shirt reveal too much skin? does this pair of pants fit on my butt well, hahaha or does it make my legs look extra big? (i have fighters’ legs by the way haha). and with that, i always end up choosing the least though, no rather, the modest (oh you know what i mean) because there’s this sort of shut-your-thoughts-of-trying-to-look-sexxyyyyyy-cause-you’re-not. hahaha that one, thus the overly rapped clothes, haha kidd. well, the truth is, i’m this kid who’s afraid to dress up. oh the sickness of being a girl is growing on me
and lastly, i stun too much. yes yes yes. whenever i like something or someone , i always make sure that I get the latest of it,them. I mean, i need to be updated of everything and I’m positive when I say i won’t stop. i’m a freaking stalker! hahah no, admirer. okay hahaha. this doesn’t make sense i know but whatever, it brings the girlishness out of me and i kind of already get used to it.
Being such a girl is tiring sometimes but i won’t say it’s less fun than that of being a normal kiddo. Being a girl makes me do things that creeps me out and giddy (which is crazy and amazing at the same time) haha whereas being just a kid is as fun as counting starts and striding your dreams over the rainbows. it all comes naturally.
*hamburger with new zealand’s cow beef, cheese, lettuce, custard and bacon.
*lemon pie with cherries and chocolate syrup on top.
*barbeque with grape extract.
*eggs Benedict with Swiss marshmallow chocolate drink and banana flambe
These are the words
unspoken forbidden for summer, more of the oblivion. Not a blob of their existence shakes up my refined world of cutting the edge of slimming down. yes, im on a very strict diet, that i even scold myself for eating a piece of Reese’s chocolate. how crazy am i. I don’t what’s gotten up my already nutty mind to run up a scheme of stupidity. nevertheless, it has helped me to review my sense of discipline: waking up at 8 and running down for a few blocks, reminding myself when to eat and what to eat at these significant time frames, and even dancing to what sort of off-key rhythm (this is crazy, actually) oh well.
Today, I ate a slice of lemon pie with cherries and chocolate syrup on top, and i would say, I shall have one again, later or tomorrow or next week?. hahahaha bohooo, strip the diet off, lol kidd. i am not regretting at all. I just felt a sudden jolt of happiness and contentment when i ate the pie and and and it gave me a feeling of i-don’t-know which in fact I haven’t felt in a long time. ( i really don’t know how to describe it without pulling off other strings) oh im being delusional i know but whatever i don’t care. I’ll munch down atleast one pie a day? a week? oh whatever.
Just what other experts say, don’t deprive yourself and eat what you want but in a limited manner, thus you’ll keep the diet unbroken. Depriving yourself will in fact make you crave for more than what you should eat.
lemon pie with cherries and chocolate on top, see you tomorrow.
Don’t we all like to feel loved and needed? That feeling of nostalgia creeping up inside you when the view of an important person becomes clearer and nearer. It just makes you want to run up to that someone and never let that person go.
Well, it’s not because you’re clingy or a finger-sucking…
In my whole life, I’ve never been praised nor graded with perfection when it comes to coloring stuff. This has been my major downfall ever since. Whenever our teacher asks us to color a picture, i always end up getting it in rampage: discolored hair, who in such good mind would color someone’s hair blue? Coloring beyond the pictures’ lines, i mean what the hell, couldn’t I keep my hand in control? Oh what a bummer, but whatever, I’ve faced the truth of myself being inflicted with deprivation of the possibility that I could perfectly color pictures, oh well.
But hey, I have never blamed someone to such because this has led me to a semi realistic and jaw dropping conclusion that maybe I was meant to be like that: To color someone’s hair blue is something, meaning, I saw something beyond the bounds of my naked eyes, bare hands and cerebrum-the art of abstract. To color drastically is another thing,meaning, I wasn’t afraid to widen the whereabouts, my capabilities. It wasn’t about self control at all, it’s about not limiting the barricades of what I can do differently. To color awfully is more than what it looks like. Awful can be pretty too.
To my teacher who graded me with nothing but circles and comments on why i colored these stuff with random rainbows,You didn’t see what I see then and oh I still color that way but in a more artistic way. xo
Im enthralling myself, lol kidd.
why did i even blog about this, oh well coloring is such a big deal to me haha
no. before you think of something else, it’s different okay. it’s not the idea of being in love with someone I don’t know behind computers. okay, it’s different.
His name is Clark Angelo P. Urzo, see I know him. He had been my classmate for 2 years and in that 2 years, I have come to like him, no, rather, fall in love with him. Yes, I have tons of crushes; celebrity, neighbors, friends etc but that’s because they only appeal to me physically, just that and nothing more. I used to fantasize their god like features but no, it’s just a crush. With clark, everything is bizarre, uhh I can’t eve n get my words right. He’s this human being who brings out the best in me. I mean, whenever I’m talking to him(explain this later), well he’s the science guy, I have to keep up on what he’s talking about-i have to search that and those haha. Clark, he’s
handsome , no, gorgeous. he is. He is weird, unreadable, unpredictable and a genius but these are just points on why I love him, most importantly, he’s real. He doesn’t show what he’s not. He’s true to himself and to others. Clark has always proved to us that he’s more than everything people have seen in him, and that’s why.
Virtually? because it’s almost but not quite.. I mean I can only show my love for him whenever he’s not around, whenever I get to talk to him like in chats or whatever, but not in person. I’m this silly kid who secretly loves a guy and afraid of letting him know how I feel. yes, i’m a coward, afraid of getting rejected and all, and and and afraid of risking.
I wish i was brave enough.